Is it really all just playing?

Welcome to the first blog! My hopes is that I will keep up with this on a somewhat regular basis (that’s the goal).

I get this statement from parents a lot during the course of treatment with kids and that is “all you do is play”. While parents are not wrong when they say that, there’s a few more things involved. Thus, let’s cover some basis on why play therapy is beneficial for children.

1.)    Play is a universal language. Everyone learns to play before they can talk. No matter what language you speak, you can play. Play can tell you how kids are feeling or processing without having to ask them. Kids may be having symptoms from events that happened when their language wasn’t fully developed and now don’t know the words to say what’s wrong.

 Kids are welcome to talk when they come see me. Or, if they choose to say nothing, that is fine as well. Just being able to be with someone, and communicate other than words is just as good if not better. Kids will be able to communicate what is going on inside of them. Both feelings, emotions, sensory and somatic experiences.

2.)    Play feels safe. When kids play, they are able to separate themselves from things going onto be themselves. They are able to play in a way that is appropriate for where they are emotionally. Emotional age does not always match up with the biological age (a 10 year old may emotionally be a 5year old). With a trusted individual, play can feel safe and help increase connection and felt safety with others. When we feel emotionally safe, we open up more.

 When kids first come into therapy, we are strangers. We have no idea who we are, if I am going to do some kind of procedure on them like in a doctors office, there is literally no trust at all. Why would I want to talk to someone about big scary big feelings when I have no idea how they will react? When we start playing, felt safety and trust grows.

3.)    Play is on the right side of the brain to help. Literally! Play activates the right side of the brain which also contains feelings, emotions, creativity, and trauma. When kids engage in play therapy, they activate those other areas with it but are able to express it in a safe way. Sometimes without needing to talk.

As adults, I feel as though we forget how charged we can get when we play because our play can look different than our kids. If anyone still play video games, how charged do your feelings and emotions get when you lose or win? The brain also doesn’t know the difference between play and real life. Thus, when you process something with play therapy, it is processing real life feelings and memories at the same time. (That’s the simplified version at least).

It’s a modality that is helpful, but can also leave some confusion for parents. And that’s ok. The work is mysterious and isn’t always concrete. But, I feel it is the best modality to help children.